I think the judge thought I was nuts!

Yesterday went well. It was very emotional for me but went as expected. Our social worker was about 20 minutes late so that didn't help with my anxiety. It lasted about 10 mintues in the court room. It was just a preliminary hearing as Kole's father will have to be served and notified. Of course he will fail to sign for or collect a certified letter so it will probably delay things further. The judge read the case and asked a couple of questions. It broke my heart as he was reading how we have all suffered, including Koley. It took my breath away and I began to sob. He stopped and said "it will be okay" he wasn't annoyed and seemed concerned but he kept saying it. "it will all work out, it will all be okay" I smiled and thanked him and he continued. I am certain he thinks I am nuts.

We have another court date on August 19th after the paperwork is served to Kole's father. It will be for a more permanant custody (up to a year)of sorts. Right now we have a temporary release.

We were told that we were not approved to go to Applewood on Friday. My heart dropped. The social worker said she was working on it but they have never had a parent want to attend a intake. She stated that Kole's situation is much different from what they generally see as they are the ones that are usually going in to remove the child without parental consent. Our siutation is the opposite. She said she generally doesn't have the support from parents that Sean and I have offered. It saddened me to think that. I couldn't imagine not being there every step of the way for Koley. I NEVER, ever want him to think we are leaving him or giving up on him. I always want him to know that we are taking these steps because we love him and we all want to get healthy and have a safe and happy family.

When we arrived home there was a message from Andrea stating that she had spoken to her supervisor and so forth and they are going to allow us to make the trip and be apart of Kole's intake. We will be able to tour the campus and see where he will be living and meet some of the staff. I was elated!

I went to bed with a heavy and worrisome heart. I have read and re read many of your comments and they are so reassuring. Thank you! Thank you for taking the time to reach out to our family!