today is the day that it has all really sunk in.
the day where i have realized that when the therapists, clinicians and social workers mention that Koley may always be "this way" is true. We may be able to learn how to cope and deal and be better prepared to take care of him and the violent, raging tantrums and anger, but he may never be a "normal child." He may not be like my others, healthy and thriving.
Nothing in the world hurts like knowing that you can't help your child. That you can't protect him from himself. Nothing in the world sucks so badly. I want nothing else for him to be healthy and happy and to love himself. It may never be. Accepting it, learning to live with it is the worst feeling ever.
Please keep my boy in your thoughts. He is an awesome kid. He has so much to offer.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
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8 comments:
I'm terribly sorry Erin.
I will pray for you.
For Kole.
For your family.
As I always do.
Erin, I know all too well how you are feeling, just not from a mother's standpoint. It's hard, and it sucks, but have faith that God only gives you what he knows you can handle! ((HUGS))
all we can do is love him, just as he is :hug
I am so sorry, Erin. Huge (((hugs))) Please know that I am thinking of you all.
what everyone else has already said.
hang in there sister.
I wish I was still going to my Autism Speaks meetings. I'd take you with me. Those moms could say so much more than I ever could.
I'm so sorry Erin. Hugs to you and Koley.
You are not walking alone, I know it may feel that way some days. You have a team of people encouraging you, praying for you. Praying for Kole. We are standing with our arms up over our heads holding this mountain up over your head right along with you.
We love you, we love kole and we are not going to stop just because we need to learn to treat him in a way that he can feel our love. we will learn with you and continue to love you both the way you both need us to love you and support you.
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